A work in Progress . . .and needing feedback

So my grade for my poetry class is based 50 percent on the portfolio I turn in. I have divided it into two sections: One, Requiem Poems About Being a Widow and two, Abundance: Facets and Fancies of Life. I’m not sure which order to put them in yet. Suggestions? The professor has read and made suggestions for revising most of the poems. I’ve taken her advice under consideration as I’ve been rewriting, but I’m finding some of things I simply don’t want to change, because they say exactly what I meant. Most of the poems have benefited from repeated revisions. Some of them though, haven’t been through that process. If anyone cares to read these rough drafts and give me feedback, that would be helpful as I try to polish this portfolio. Thanks, Sue/KyneWynn

The Fruit Basket

A gift. A cheery basket filled with
Gleaming apples, red and gold,
Brightly colored tangerines, bananas,
And waxy pears, artistically arranged,
Exuding Christmas Cheer.

Reading the tag,
“From the 10th Ward,”
I’m puzzled, confused.
Why am I receiving a
Fruit Basket?

As I slowly remove the plastic wrap,
Releasing the tangy scent of tangerines,
Meaning dawns. Fruit basket.
Widow’s. Fruit. Basket.
And I’m the widow.

I recoil from the thought,
A widow? Me? No.
Denial – denied, the fruit basket,
Evidence of truth tucked
Among the pears.

A rich, red apple mocks my loss.
In an instant it is careening through the air,
Thudding against the wall –and I,
A pulpy mass, slide to the floor,
In bitter tears.

Advertisements

Please feel free to leave a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s