Tonight, in an effort to decrease the amount of surplus paper I have stashed here and there all over my house, I tackled The Filing Cabinets, those bastions of storage, filled with important, and extremely unimportant pieces of paper. I need to downsize some more because I’m going to lose my futility room (a term I appropriated from my mother-in-law who first used it; it is thus called because it’s futile to ever get that room completely cleared out and/or organized).
— As I was saying, I am going to lose my futility room in favor of having a kitchen downstairs so The Book Nook Inn will consist of three bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen, with a private entrance, and I won’t chance Africans gutting fish in the middle of my kitchen floor at 2:00 a.m. again . . . but that’s another story for another time. Suffice it to say, having a kitchen downstairs will be a boon for many reasons. But it does necessitate the clearing out of the futility room’s current contents.
Which takes me back to the filing cabinets and their contents, all of which is a very long introduction to saying that while I was sorting through said contents, I came across some of my writings from a decade or so ago, and, I have to admit, even though I’m saying it myself, they are pretty funny.
So in the spirit of celebrating the beleaguered mother I was, I share with you one of the pieces I found, my Top Ten Tips for Maintaining Your Sanity While Trying to Create an Orderly Home. Keep in mind that this was written when I had six children at home ranging in age from two- to twelve- years old. I’ve decided that some things never change. I now watch my children go through the same types of things with their children. It’s comforting in a way.
My Top 10 Hints for Maintaining Your Sanity While Trying to Create an Orderly Home
#10 Forget about trying to get your family to lift the dirty clothes hamper lid; it’s hopeless. Use an open basket instead.
#9 Make life easier for yourself. Don’t expect too much help from your kids, but keep making those job charts — they provide written proof that you are trying.
#8 Remember those baby clothes that are STILL in your 72-hour emergency kit? Don’t worry, they may come in handy — for your grandchildren.
#7 If you didn’t get all of the yard work finished don’t worry too much; at least you’re not contributing to higher property taxes in your neighborhood.
#6 Oversleeping several hours does have its benefits. you spend less time fretting over what you didn’t get finished last night.
#5 When a visitor lifts her eyebrows in disapproval as she enters your home, be quick to point out that “modern childhood” is an art form. Handprints on the wall can be considered decorative.
#4 The item you carefully put away so you wouldn’t lose it will eventually turn up — sometime next year after you’ve already replaced it.
#3 That mold in five-gallon buckets does indicate that your food storage is growing.
#2 Remember when your husbands and sons leave the toilet seat up they may be attempting to exercise decorative control over the bathroom.
#1 In planning “a place for everything and everything in its place,” remember your children consider the middle of any floor in your house to be the “place.”
To see these hints in action, stop on by anytime!
KyneWynn's Chronicles 